Squandrous

Gangrene and broken hearts.

Katie shared this wonderful little story on her site today, and I just had to share it in its entirety. Hope she doesn’t mind.

I jammed my thumb once… a game of Twister turned wrestling match turned KT crying at the bottom of a dog pile.

I became convinced that my thumb was going to get infected, develop gangrene, and I was either going to die or lose my left arm. I had dreams about this until the bruise finally went away.

That sort of paranoia will make you crazy, it will make you stupid. You become so convinced that something bad is going to happen to you and you are going. to. die. that you can’t think of anything else… you can’t even let yourself be happy.

(I had my heart broken once… a new guy at work turned controlling boyfriend turned abusive stalker who ended up in jail.)

And at some point after getting hurt you have to realize not everything is going to kill you. Not everyone is out to hurt you. But your own fear, your own hesitance to accept life and trust that you can be happy, it can ruin everything if you let it. You have to relax and open up and just risk that maybe you are going to jam your thumb again.

Not all jammed thumbs get gangrene. (Not all guys will break your heart.)

Thanks, Katie.